Dust off your jetpack, space cowboys—Barsoom beckons once more! Thirteen years after Disney’s epic flop that lost $200 million but won cult status, John Carter 2: Gods of Mars blasts back with Andrew Stanton’s original vision intact, adapting Edgar Rice Burroughs’ second novel. Taylor Kitsch reprises his low-gravity leaping Civil War vet, hurled back to the Red Planet after part 1’s cliffhanger, only to dive into a father-son saga laced with ancient gods, shapeshifting Therns, and aerial dogfights over floating cities . Lynn Collins returns as the fierce Dejah Thoris, narrating the tale to their kidnapped son Carthoris before unleashing laser-sharp wit and swordplay that could slice through Martian sandstorms . Mark Strong slithers in as the villainous Matai Shang, a body-swapping sorcerer whose silky menace echoes his Sinestro days, turning divine lore into a cosmic con game .

The pulp heart beats strong: Kitsch’s brooding charm shines in zero-G brawls that feel like Gladiator on steroids, while Collins grounds the spectacle in raw emotion—her Dejah isn’t just eye candy; she’s a warrior queen plotting revolutions amid red dunes . CGI holds up (mostly), with Weta’s touch evoking Dune’s majesty, and Zimmer’s score swells like a sandstorm symphony . But pacing falters in god-heavy lore dumps, echoing the original’s marketing mishaps that doomed it—no Frank Frazetta posters here to hype the sexy sci-fi romp . At $150M budget, it recoups via streaming savvy, but feels like a dusty relic in 2025’s multiverse madness.

In the end, Gods of Mars redeems a fallen franchise with swashbuckling soul, proving Barsoom’s bar fights > box office blues—for nostalgic thrills and Thark tango, docked for sequel syndrome . Fans, it’s your what if fulfilled—now demand part 3! Seen it? Worth the warp jump?